we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
