She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
