You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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