Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
