last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
