Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
