There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
