Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
