And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
