fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
