Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
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