Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i would punch a child for taco bell
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
