this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
wow bdsm is so cute
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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