from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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