The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize