I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
