i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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