Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
How naked do you want me to be?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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