Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
