we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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