TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
