Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
