K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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