I'm gonna have a badass scar
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
