i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
