I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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