we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
