whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
