Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
