i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
