So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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