i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
