she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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