Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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