Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
