He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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