in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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