I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
