a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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