guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize