she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
