What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
