I'm going to jail i love you
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
