I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Randomize
