That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
