They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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