I am spending my child support on dildos
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
