shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
