We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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