Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
