Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
