That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
