I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize