East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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