I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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