I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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