They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
