they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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