Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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