So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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