I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
