You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
