I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Randomize
