My first STD was from a foam party
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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